It’s been a rough month here in the Sievertson household.  First, all the trouble we’ve been having with our oldest daughter and then losing my husband’s father, an amazing man, David.  We weren’t prepared for either of these events.  Who could be prepared for such events as these?  There is no handbook for these life events…or is there?  Yes, yes there is.  It’s called The Word of God.  You can simply call it the Bible if you want the shorter version. :0)

I was sitting upstairs, trying my best to go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight; instead of 6 or 7 in the morning like I’ve been doing lately (Turns out, that when I’m stressed, I don’t sleep much.) and I had some major thoughts come to me.  SO, I rushed right downstairs to capture them on here before I lost them. Which, let’s face it, is pretty likely to happen.

As I was sitting at my vanity, doing my nightly skin regimen, I was thinking about everything that’s happened in our lives in the past month. I thought about my foundation. About my strength. I thought about my ministry. About Hadassah. I haven’t been on here in awhile. Why? Because of the problems we’ve been having with our daughter. I didn’t feel “worthy” or qualified to lead other women when, apparently, I couldn’t even get through to my own child. Then, this past month, everything went nutso and I REALLY found out where I stand.  I EXPERIENCED IT!!! 

Remember when God told Abraham he had to sacrifice Isaac? Isaac, the seed that fulfilled the promise of making Abraham the father of many nations? God didn’t do this to see if Abraham would be obedient; not at all!  This was purely for Abraham. This showed Abraham his faith. It showed him that his faith, his trust, his love, was completely in The Lord. He didn’t know how, but he knew that even if he took the life of his son, that God would and could bring Isaac back because God doesn’t break His promises.  ABRAHAM EXPERIENCED HIS FAITH!!  He learned, that even if he didn’t completely understand what was going on, he was relying on God. He was relying on God no matter what. He had complete trust, complete belief, complete love, complete FAITH in God his Father. God made him a promise and Abraham knew…he KNEW God would keep his word.  AND GOD DID!!!

SO!  Where do I stand? I stand with HIM! I stand with the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. I stand with the great I Am. You see, at this point in my life, I’ve lived a Christian life for about 18 years. I’ve had faith. I’ve taught Bible studies, been a high school youth group leader, led in home Bible study groups, started this ministry, and done some guest speaking (which I’m praying I start doing more of because I know this is what God wants me to be doing). I’ve done all of that with faith.

This past month though?  I’ve experienced, TRULY EXPERIENCED, my faith. I’m no longer going to be timid about my beliefs. THERE!!!  I said it!!

Right about now, I’m sure some of you are saying, “HUH?? I’ve read her posts on Facebook and on here; she isn’t timid about her faith.”

Well, the truth is…I think I have been. You see, I’ve spent my life walking a pretty fine line; trying to not offend non-believers, yet at the same time, being as vocal about who I am as I feel I’m allowed to be.  Well…no more. I’m me! I’m so tired of trying to please everyone. I only want to please ONE and He doesn’t reside here on Earth. His name is Father God. The Creator of ALL. I want to please Him, to walk as HIS Son, Jesus did while He was on this earth. I want to live as he lived. To be Jesus to all who meet me. To be vocal about my faith. To not back down just because someone doesn’t agree with me. This is going to be HORRIBLY tough for me because I can’t stand it if people are unhappy with me…but in reality, they aren’t upset with me…they’re upset with the One who sent me.

I have one thought that goes through my head often and I’ve repeated it to my girls often as well…If Jesus isn’t who He claimed to be, why is He so hated? Why?

Muhammad isn’t as hated. Buddha isn’t. The 33 million gods in Hinduism aren’t as hated. Only Jesus. The only ethnic group that’s ever been, repeatedly, tried to be expunged from the face of the earth is the Jewish Nation. If this was the only data I had to go on, it would speak volumes to me.

So, as I was thinking about all of this, I thought about Esther…as I typically do…and I thought about WHY it’s my favorite book of the Bible. It’s because, before she became Queen Esther, she was Hadassah.  She was faithful and obedient before she became Queen and she was the same afterwards.

Then I thought about who she was…her qualities…her essence. Here’s what I thought…

She had a strong foundation. She had unshakable faith. Faith in her Lord, faith in her Uncle Mordecai, and faith in her new husband, King Xerxes. She was obedient. Obedient to her Lord, obedient to her Uncle Mordecai, and obedient to her husband, King Xerxes. She had compassion for her people, the Jewish Nation and wept for their imminent demise. She was fearless. She knew she took a great risk by going to the king when he didn’t ask for her. She knew, if he didn’t hold out his scepter, she would be killed and yet she went anyway. She didn’t hide her faith. When Mordecai asked for her help, she told him to ask the Jewish people to fast for her and she did the same with her maids.

I can learn a lot from Esther…Hadassah.  This ministry, when first founded, was to help women be faithful and obedient in all aspects of life, but somewhere deep inside, I think I always thought I was supposed to gear it more towards women who have health issues. Tonight, God showed me that isn’t the case. This ministry, my ministry, GOD’S ministry, is to reach ALL women, no matter what their lives may be like at the moment.  We, as women, need to embrace each other, lift each other up, support each other, and love each other.  Most importantly? We need to share Jesus with each other.  We share Him with the saved to encourage each other when we’re struggling and we share Him with the lost to show them the way to His mercy and forgiveness.

Let’s stop living a timid faith and live a HUGE faith. A faith that shakes the world around us. Who’s with me?